Trusting the Divine No Matter What

OlgaOlga Llerena had just spent an awesome month at Oneness University in India in August 2014 where she experienced high states of consciousness and a close connection to her personal Divine. She arrived at the Chennai airport for her trip back home to the United Sates, feeling a state of bliss.

Then something completely unexpected happened: a simple text from a relative suddenly sent her into a tailspin of panic and fear. “My heart started pounding, says Llerena. “I went into the plane and asked the flight attendant if I should go back to the gate. I was praying like crazy.”

Ultimately, she decided to continue her flight because she didn’t know anyone in Chennai and wasn’t sure if staying would feel any better than flying. She continued to pray and try to surrender to the feelings of terror. After an hour or so she felt a little better, but she still was pretty uncomfortable and anxious for the rest of the flight. She kept asking her Divine: “Why is this happening to me? I just spent a month with you.”

It wasn’t until she was back home in California that her Divine answered her question. He said the sensations had actually been an answer to her own prayer. She had prayed to fully experience every fear and blockage that was obstructing a closer relationship to her Divine.

Struck with this clarity, she said, “How can I help?” and the Divine answered, “Trust your Divine and trust your process.”

Llerena says she now knows very clearly that everything is part of her process. No matter what it is.

Olga’s husband Alex Llerena is also awakened and is developing more faith in his Divine. Alex says he actually prays to three Divines: Jesus, the Paramatma and AmmaBhagavan. “The Divine is not jealous,” says Alex. “I pray to all of them. I look to all of them as symbols to guide me. I strongly feel they’re always with me, and I know I’m never alone, and I’m always being guided. It just reinforces it when you’re in situations when it’s difficult and you see the result. At the end of the day, you look back and say ‘wow’ that was much easier than I would have anticipated.”

We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

Olga says her initial awakening experience back in September 2012 was subtle, and she doubted whether anything had even happened, but the guides at Oneness University assured her that she had experienced a shift.

It wasn’t until she was sitting on a stage at a large Oneness event in the Bay Area that she noticed she was different. Olga and Alex had been asked to share their awakening experiences, and during the event someone in the audience described his state of spiritual desperation and deep despair.

Olga says, “I realized ‘Oh my God,’ I don’t have that anymore! I went into memories and remembered I used to feel like that. I’m not having existential suffering any more!”

Julia Desmond, a spiritual teacher in Colorado, says she recently experienced something similar. Her Divine showed her, via a mystical experience for a short amount of time, the way she used to feel prior to her awakening. Desmond says it was awful, and she was so grateful to return to her awakened state of consciousness.

Back to Trusting

Olga says these days her faith grows day by day and moment by moment. “It’s beautiful but also very practical,” she says. “It’s more like a game. I notice my resistance and then go into surrendering, and the resistance then goes away.”

Her Divine is also becoming more physical for her. “I invited my Divine to come to the movies with us,” she says. “I was in middle of the movie when there was this burst of bliss. It was this incredible, physical sensation like champagne bubbles coming from my heart and expanding and covering my whole body, all in a matter of seconds. It was incredible to be watching the movie with my Divine.”

She says her Divine manifests especially in her heart chakra where she feels humming and vibrating sensations. The physicality is helping her to develop an even deeper sense of trust.

-Linda Hardesty, Editor,

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  1. Caroline says:

    Thank you for this article. Such a great reminder that situations that can appear so negative can be the exact thing we need for our growth an healing. I love your website and newsletter! Thank you Linda!

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